As a severely abused woman, I know how it feels to stay in an abusive relationship. I experienced my own gradual mental breakdown triggered by the constant physical and emotional abuse. I came to a point where the words joy and happiness were nonexistent. I stayed for many years hoping for a “miracle” to happen. Now, one year after leaving my husband, I look back and realize how paralyzed I was. I lost myself to such extreme that I could not even make basic decisions. Sometimes, I wonder what happened to this once confident young woman who used to embrace life with open arms. After almost getting murdered Christmas 2008, numbness finally hit me, like in trance, I picked myself up, and went to the police station to file charges. I could not go on any longer being beaten on a daily basis. Five felony charges were issued against my abuser and he is awaiting currently justice day in criminal court. In the first weeks and month after leaving my husband I was endless times tempted to return to him. I know, that without outside help and intervention, I would have returned to that abusive relationship to surely get killed. After leaving , I experienced my new won freedom at Laura’s House, a Domestic Violence Shelter for women. I completed a two month program for abused women. Step by step, I, and many other women learned how to integrate back into society, how to recognize potentially abusive relationships, and how abusive relationships negatively impact involving children.
I learned, that once a relationship turns ugly it will remain ugly, and that children who see how their mothers are getting abused will either become abusers later in life themselves or they will become other victims. Sadly the cycle keeps going on and on.
For Mr. Sheen and his wife it is a matter of time, but I think eventually they will separate. Every woman has a different level of tolerance, and for some women it even takes longer because they excuse their partners bad behaviors. Also, it has to be kept in mind that many women become accustomed to their current lifestyle, and that leaving inevitably brings lots of changes along the way. Especially women with children will go through hardship. This can be a very difficult process, where outside support of family, friends, counselors and social workers is a must to build a new foundation. For me the process of leaving was worthwhile. I am alive and able to experience life to its fullest again. My abuser is currently out on Bail and hopefully the day will come where justice will be spoken. Money might buy an abusers freedom, but they have to live with the shame and guilt. There will come a day where the abusers will look back and realize what they have lost.

Live and enjoy life

“Within hours of Pee Wee Herman’s arrest for indecent exposure, CBS abruptly cancelled his show. Yet the same company now allows Sheen — who has been convicted on much more severe charges — to continue to not only remain on TV, but to crack jokes every week about what a Godsend he is to women. Shame on the judge, shame on CBS – but shame on the American Public for keeping this degenerate in the Top 10 every week. You idiots!”

Ms. Leinweber drew my attention to my use of the phrase “horned-rimmed glasses” … Oops, my bad. I’ve now corrected the column!
Thanks, Sylvia.

DD