I was into bubble gum and Nancy Drew mysteries
Ive never been a joiner. As a child I didn’t join the Girl Scouts or go out for cheerleader. I would never have considered joining the Math Club or commemorating Save the Earthworm Day. But as I’ve matured I’ve come to realize that only when people band together around a specific cause or purpose do others become educated and aware. It’s only when passionate people form a movement that things truly change.
For example, it was the nationwide campaign highlighting the startling number of traffic deaths that got us to change our habits and wear seat belts. When a concerted campaign showed us the insides of our bodies and the harm done by cigarettes our national smoking rate began to plummet. And when drinking and driving, once tolerated and hardly punished, became the cause celeb of a group of women called Mothers Against Drunk Driving the rest of us began to 
change our thinking about this now taboo practice.
So, it’s with great fascination that I watch another group of women and their current campaign … … to change the way we view sex crimes and domestic abuse against women. Will their movement to stop the violence get traction? Interestingly, their crusade revolves around something that happened thousands of miles across the ocean a decade ago.
A young woman in Italy took a driving lesson. Her 45 year old instructor guided her to drive to a lonely country road. There something terrible happened. She called it rape, he called it consensual. After he was convicted of rape his lawyers appealed all the way to Italy’s Supreme Court. In an astonishing turnaround the justices ruled that since the 18 year old woman had been wearing “very tight jeans” it could not have been rape. She, they concluded, would have to have helped remove the jeans before any intimacies could occur.
When this true story made it to America women’s groups here were outraged at the stupid notion that a woman wearing jeans cannot be raped. They began to discuss what they could do to show solidarity with the Italian woman and to educate people about sexual and domestic violence. In planting the seeds of their idea for a national campaign they discussed different teaching tools they could employ. The jeans, they thought … the campaign had to revolve around those jeans! “Denim Day” was born.
Can This Campaign Work?
10 years later the disciples of the movement have gotten the month of April declared “Sexual Abuse Awareness Month” and during this month Denim Day will be marked in cities across the country. It’s a day during which all Americans are asked to wear jeans to work or school to spark a conversation about the problem.
If you think this movement has nothing to do with you take a look at the bone-chilling government statistics on sexual assaults against both women and men. The FBI reports, one in six women will be the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. Imagine that – one in every six women! Most of the time it’s not the scary stranger who attacks, it is someone known to the victim. And the Centers For Disease Control reports 22% of victims are men. Your sons, daughters, brother, sisters, nephews, nieces and spouses are all at risk.
This month Denim Day will be observed (on various dates) in states from Hawaii to Connecticut, from New York to California where April 22nd has been declared Denim Day. In Los Angeles the victim’s rights group Peace Over Violence is organizational ground zero, having inspired more than 250 thousand supporters to participate in last year’s event there. Nationwide, more than 600 thousand individuals and organizations signed up and this year organizers hope to double that figure. It’s beginning to look like a bona fide national movement.
Peace Over Violence Executive Director, Patti Giggans tells me, “Our goals are to support survivors, it’s never too late to heal … and to educate the public to prevent and end sexual violence.” Their slogan, which has now gone nationwide, is: “There is no excuse. There’s never an invitation to rape.”
But can a designated month and supporters wearing jeans really change human behavior? Can these groups attach enough shame to the act of sexual and domestic abuse to actually curb it? Are our children absorbing the lessons to never resort to physical assault? Are grownups that grew up with violence in the home suddenly able to turn on a dime and stop the ugly cycle? In a day and age where singing sensation Rihanna can be brutally pummeled by her boyfriend, Chris Brown, followed by teen age girls exclaiming, “Well she probably did something to make him mad,” I have my doubts.
Then again I never thought I’d see the day when attitudes changed about seat belts and cigarettes.
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Albuquerque Journal Reader Gary (via Encino, California) writes:
" I read your column in today's (4/4/09) Albuquerque Journal and I thought that you made some good points. The people that belong to Peace Over Violence are doing yeoman's work in bringing the problem of rape, abuse and acquaintance rape into the public eye.
The Italian justice's ruling that she had "asked for it" is ridiculous on it's face and shows how far Italy and other countries need to progress.
That said, girls and women have to be educated to not place themselves in situations or environments that may lead to a sexual assault. This includes sending mixed messages.
When a woman says NO, it should always mean NO, no matter how she's dressed. I was taught to be respectful of a woman's wishes, and whenever a woman said NO to me—I respected that, but in my younger days I encountered a few women who did one of several things;
1) Said NO, but soon made it clear that she would change her mind without coercion after a few more drinks, puffs, or pills.
2) Said NO, but when I backed off–said "Boy, you sure give up easily", clearly playing a game.
3) Said NO, but made it clear that a bit of time and a little gentle persuasion might change that to a yes.
Now, I was a gentleman, and when a woman said NO–I backed off. There are a lot of guys out there who wouldn't back off, and at that point the woman is entering into dangerous territory if the guy is a sociopath or is someone who just doesn't give a damn about the woman he's with and wouldn't think twice about forcing her to have sex.
I enjoy your column every week. Keep up the good work."
Albuquerque Journal Reader Randy writes:
"I enjoy reading your articles, and today's was no exception. I noticed your reference to Italian stupidness in the "jean defense". I would think another reference to "radical Islam" would further do justice to your position. For too long, the media seems to be afraid of offending the horrendous treatment of women in countries that recognize sharia law. It is especially disconcerting when European countries kowtow to these attitudes to be politically correct. The Afghan law recently passed (below article) illustrates this.
In this regard, a distressing Obama choice for top State Dept attorney signals something along these lines.
(quoting) This weeks news –
"Former Clinton administration official Harold Koh, who has been dean of the Yale Law School since 2004, once wrote that the U.S. was part of an "axis of disobedience" with North Korea and Saddam Hussein's Iraq. Koh also has long held that the U.S. should accept international law when deliberating cases at home."
Keep up the good work."
Gary,
You bring up a very, very important point. Young girls and women everywhere must come to understand their own role in sexual assault. THAT IS NOT TO SAY THE VICTIM IS EVER 'AT FAULT' … That is to say that savvy females can limit their vulnerability. Watching what they drink in public places, going out in a group and never alone, refusing the 'game playing' as Gary describes above and knowing your limit when it comes to alcohol.
In other words take steps to PROTECT YOURSELF! ~ DD
Randy,
I have to agree 100% with you about including "Radical Islam" in the list of things that pose a danger to women. I'm not sure the media has been "afraid of offending" countries in which it is practiced….ABC's Diane Sawyer, for example, went undercover (under black robes) to expose how women are treated in Muslim nations and many newspapers and news magazines have reported on it too. Recently in upstate New York a Muslim man admitted to murdering his wife after she declared she wanted a divorce. He said he did it to "protect his honor" and the story was given wide coverage.
And, for the record, Attorney Koh's comments declaring America needs to accept international law makes my skin crawl – and surely has Thomas Jefferson rolling in his grave. ~ DD
Dear Gary,
In response to your comments "1. Said no without coercion after a few more drinks, puffs or pills.. " In California and hopefully Nationwide the Act of Rape requires reasonable knowledge of the accused that he was aware the victim was under the influence. Just because a women has drinks, puffs or pills as you say does not give a man the right to have sex, and "educating women of staying out of situations that send mixed messages " is very one sided,, maybe we should be teaching men not to go there if they are under the influence.. or assisting them in getting there…Yes women need to be aware when they are able but that does not excuse the man of taking advantage of power, position, intoxication, husband , friend, boyfriend.. You may want to take a look at the campaign from Peace Over Violence as to what constitutes and doesnt constitute consensual sex..
Great Job Diane as always .. we need more voices..
Web Site Reader Shannon from Toluca Lake, California writes:
" Dear Gary,
In response to your comments "1. ….Said no without coercion after a few more drinks, puffs or pills.. " In California and hopefully nationwide all the Act of Rape requires is reasonable knowledge of the accused that he was aware the victim was under the influence. Just because a women has "drinks, puffs or pills," as you say, does not give a man the right to have sex and "educating women of staying out of situations that send mixed messages " is very one sided, Maybe we should be teaching men not to go there if the woman is under the influence … or assisting them in getting there.
Yes, women need to be aware when they are able but that does not excuse the man of taking advantage of power, position, intoxication – be they husband , friend, boyfriend. You may want to take a closer look at the campaign from Peace Over Violence as to what constitutes and doesn't constitute consensual sex.
Great Job Diane as always .. we need more voices."
This is a test comment from Tim
And, Gary Responds to Shannon:
"In response to Shannon from Toluca Lake, I apologize for not making myself as clear as I should have in my posting. What I meant to say is that until the day that all men can be educated to respect women and to not think that they're entitled to control a woman, women need to do everything in their power to protect themselves. I envision a day that my daughters or grand-daughters won't have to worry about encountering one of these poor excuses for a man, but that will take time—most likely a generation's worth or more. I was trying to point out that a lot of the men out there right now who are uncaring and/or uneducated in proper interpersonal behavior—and if some of these men have only been with women who displayed some of the traits that I listed in my posting, they'll think that no woman ever means NO when she says NO. "
Albuquerque Journal Reader Don D. writes:
"Well, based on numerous visits to Italy via port visits during deployments on three Navy ships in the mid 70s to early 80s, Italian men have the reputation of being somewhat sexist. I did not think that a high Italian court would render such a misogynistic ruling as the one with the girl in jeans. Rather outrageous. In my opinion, attractive women should never feel that they have to wear dumpy clothing to cover up a good figure.
Rape, assuming it is a valid charge, not one where an unhappy woman is getting even with a guy and makes a false charge, is a disgusting crime. I don't care if the woman is a flirt and acting inappropriately, NO means just that, NO, no matter when it is said and the excuse that she said it too late and "I couldn't stop" is feeble."
Creators Syndicate Web Reader David H. writes:
" I applaud the effort and hope that it is successful. I too, as a 58-year-old male, abhor rape. That being said, I doubt that the world will change.
Yes, deaths due to accidents have decreased in part due to awareness. The major impact is laws about speed, seat belts, insurance rates and many other factors. Driving is visible.
Yes, smoking has decreased due to visibility. Major factors are price increases by taxation, limiting smoking areas, guilt trips by friends and relatives and many other factors.
Rape on the other hand is invisible until a rapist is arrested.. Rapists, when convicted go to jail. Until caught, most of us wouldn't recognize a rapist if we sat next to them. They don't advertise. Rape is an immoral activity in a way that cannot be attributed to driving or smoking. Campaigns, taxation or higher insurance rates will not curb rape. Guilt trips won't help, either. Rapists are, by and large, psychopaths or sociopaths.
Warning people about the dangers of rape is a good thing and I champion all efforts to make everyone aware of it.
Good luck. By the way, I'm still not a joiner."
David,
You make an excellent point about the invisibility of the crime of rape. Perps don't commit rape out in the open in front of witnesses. It doesn't lend itself to PUBLIC humiliation as very few of us ever see it occurring, unlike driving while intoxicated or smoking.
That very fact makes rape all the more insidious doesn't it? Thanks for writing! ~ DD
Diane,
Thanks for writing about this important issue. As the Director of Development for Peace Over Violence (http://www.peaceoverviolence.org), we have reached over a million individuals over the past 11 years of running our Denim Day in L.A. campaign (http://www.denimdayinla.org). With the addition of Denim Day USA (http://www.denimdayusa.org) last year, we hope to reach millions more to get the word out about this most important topic.
Why denim? Because the girls and boys in our youth groups (we run violence prevention groups in middle and high schools in the Los Angeles area) asked 'What did Rihanna do to provoke Chris Brown? She must have done something." Our goal is to prevent violence by teaching youth that no one has a right to put their hands on someone else.
Thank you for joining our work and I invite others reading your article to go to our website(s) to learn about how you can get involved.
I believe that the increase in rape and sexual assault cases is partially due to the immigration of people from countries where abusing women is culturally acceptable. Honor killings, female gential mutilation, sexual assault of children and other criminal behavior is not considered criminal in too many cultures.____For example, when I wrote a column regarding young American children being sexually abused by illegal aliens from Mexico, my editor at Chief of Police Magazine received a letter of complaint that basically stated it was a xenophobic article because it didn't take into account that adults having sex with children in Mexico is commonplace. Can you believe that? Even if that letter writer is correct, that doesn't mean the US has to accept such behavior.____
While majority of sexual assault and rape cases involve a female victim, the National Crime Survey indicates a growing number of male victims, especially pre-pubescent boys.
When I was a young cop in NYC, one of the first things I learned in the academy — from a sex crimes detective with years of experience — is that rape is not about sex; it's about power and violence. It is the act of a sexually dysfunctional being. In that context, that judge's "tight jeans" rationalization is a product of his ignorance.
Great article, Diane. Congrats on the your new syndicated column!
Great report, thank you. I think a month of awareness, and the day to wear jeans also serves as a springboard to start a discussion. I'll mention this to my daughter, as this is the first that I'd heard about this.
While there is more awareness of the subject, than when I was growing up, I believe that women and men as well, need to inform themselves, parents especially need to inform their children, carefully on the subject as well on how to try and be more aware, what to watch out for.
Regarding that bubblegum picture that accompanies this article.
Adorable then, adorable now!
Ummmmmm. In the interest of full disclosure – That's my husband writing that! ~ DD
Issue awareness is ALWAYS an important step. Pie in the sky or not if we don't raise our voices against egregious acts or in ardent praise of the ideals we strive to make realities then nothing will happen. I never burned my bra (I'm busty and I need the support) but I'm eternally grateful to those who did and to the enactment of Roe vs. Wade! Keep on dreamin' bloggin' peaceful protestin' and NEVER give up on trying to make our world better for everyone!